Signs you've been in Singapore too long, especially if you come from
a Western country :
1. You know that "can,can,can " means "yes" and "cannoh" means "No".
2. You've lost your sense of irony, sarcasm, and cynicism.
3. You don't know what's "La" means but u also start adding it after
every word,Ok,La!
4. You think there's nothing wrong with putting the wrod "right"
after evey sentence of yours,riiiiiight!
5. You wait for instructions from people in authority before doing
anything. ALWAYS.
6. You join queues without knowing or caring what the queue is for.
7. You know what "fine" means!!
8. You type SMS on your phone/play with it whenever u have some time
in MRT/BUS/Shopping Center or whereever.
9. Your idea of a good night out consists of having dinner at a
hawker centre, drinking beer, and then
going to another hawker centre and eating again.
10. You've lost your ability to criticize people in higher positions
than you, even if they're wrong.
11. You would buy a $20 product you don't need if it's on sale for
$10 just to save the money.
12. You forget to say the last consonant in words like "faCT",
"aTE","so fasT".
13. You think it's okay to have only one meaningful choice on a
ballot.
14. Every task you take on and every group you form is incomplete
without a mission statement and a
cheesy slogan and off course with the word Singapore,Tiger or Lion
added somewhere in that.
15. You think that in a country where young people have little
privacy, pornography is completely
banned, music and movies are censored, students of the opposite sex
in a dorm can't stay in the
same room without open doors, and everyone works so much, that people
should still want to get laid.
16. "Crossing the country" means taking the MRT to the end of the
line.
17. You don't just know what "tsunami" means but u collect funds for
its victims!
18. You think that "sorry" and "thank you" are incomplete without
adding the sound aan!soory aan!
19. You would cross the entire country all day to find the places
that make the perfect fried noodles, or
roti prata, or ice kacang, or chili crab.
20. You know the difference between Hot weather and Hot & Humid
weather.
21. You know what Temasik Holdings means.
22. You know it controls 80% of Singapore's total wealth.(not to
mention you also know who controls it!)
23. You think that nothing makes a girl or guy more attractive than
to dress exactly like hundreds of
thousands of other girls and guys who all dress up exactly like girls
and guys in malls.
24. You think that $100,000 is a reasonable price for a Toyota
Corolla and $1,000,000 is a reasonable
price for a bungalow, but $5 for a plate of fried noodles is a
barbarous outrage.
25. You believe that not being able to get decent roti prata outside
Singapore is the reason enough to keep the
best and the brightest people from leaving Singapore.
26. You see nothing wrong with forming committees of select elite
people to deliberate and study ways
to stimulate creativity and spontaneity.
27. You justify every argument with the phrase "in order for us to be
competitive in the 21st century".
28. You think everything should be "topped up".
29. You have a naive belief that the war against ants will somehow be
won.
30. You don't think its unusual that the people dress up in front of
the MRT glass doors,all the time.
31. You see nothing unusual about an organization of trade unions
spending more time owning and
operating supermarkets, drugstores, amusement parks, nightclubs, and
financial services outlets than
planning the next strike.
32. You believe that a lack of land is enough justification for the
goverment to do what it wants.
33. You wear winter clothes indoors and summer clothes outdoors.
34. You start differentiating between good-looking and
average-looking people around you!
35. You like to have fun, but not too much fun, since you need to
correctly gauge the amount of fun
necessary to achieve the optimal result. Any more fun that that would
bring shame to your family and
your country.
36. The lunch starts at 12'0 cloack and can last till the time you
finish all up.
37. You know what a city organized around a grid looks like.
38. In a country where people use smart cards for public transit, you
have no problem with
construction workers riding in the open backs of pickup trucks.
39. You think paying $50 for a bottle of booze that costs $15 at home
is a bargain.
40. You're not confused by a street naming system that locates
streets like Clementi Road, Clementi
Street, Clementi Crescent, Clementi Lane, Clementi Drive, Clementi
Way, and Clementi Avenues 1, 2,
3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 all within walking distance of each other.
41. You think that skinny girls and guys are the most attractive of
all. (How did they get so skinny in
the first place?? Do you know how much oil is in nasi lemak, char
kuay teow, duck rice, and your
average curry??--ed.)
42. You get irritated if you don't see a sign telling you how long
your wait's going to be for a bus, a
train, or the expressway to take you where you want to go.
43. You're certain that Holland Village is for hippie bohemian artist
types and not overpaid yuppies.
44. When you cross the border into Malaysia, you automatically and
deeply fear for your life and your
wallet. Especially your wallet!!
45. You think that your Airport is your most valuable monument!
46. No matter what you're doing at the moment, you'd rather be
shopping.
47. No matter how miserable you may be here, you thank God you're not
in Indonesia.
48. You understand just two ways of living- HDB and Condo!
49. You don't have a problem with four different direct payment
systems spread out over seven
different cards in your wallet.
50. You forgot what chewing gum tastes like.
51. You say "handphone", not "cellphone" And you think there's no
such thing as a handphone that's
too thin.
52. You're not bothered by the fact that government cares whether you
know how to use a toilet or
urinal correctly. (People squatting on toilet bowls? What
the...???--ed.)
53. You're sure that the best way to change social behaviour is
through consistent and comprehensive
government-sponsored campaigns that permeate as many aspects of daily
life as possible. And when
they don't work, you never speak of them again.
54. You think that life outside the island is miserable and to be
sympathized with.
55. You agree that what the government thinks of your personal habits
and lifestyle should determine
whether you get a condo and how much you pay for it.
56. You've become a fan of either Arsenal, Man. U., or Liverpool when
you barely knew what soccer
means and you don't care that none of these teams are from Singapore!
57. You think that there is nothing wrong if the young school
children are asking for money for some x,y,z cause almost every now n
then.
58. You accept that in every week or two there would be an
International survey for some x,y,z parameter in the world and
Singapore
stands 1st,2nd,3rd in that ranking which would be highlighted at the
page 1/2 of national daily!
59. You think the way the Government want you to think.
"This list is intended only as an amusing, light-hearted, and
exaggerated look at life in Singapore and
is not meant to be taken seriously. There is no intention on the part
of the author of this list to make
any untrue, misleading, or defamatory statements concerning any
person in particular, nor to make
any statement intended to cause offense. If any such offense has been
caused, the author apologizes
and retracts the offending statement. In any event, the author's NOT
WORTH SUING, so don't trouble
yourself."
60. You understand everything on this list!!
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